Who wouldn’t want to win an argument? If you think about it, wanting to be right is usually what’s at the root of most arguments. You say something, someone else disagrees, and it starts going downhill from there. When an argument ensues, both parties will usually continue to give reason why their view point is the correct one, and point out why the other person’s view point isn’t. The truth is there’s really no way to win any argument. Here’s why.

For starters, the basis for an argument is a differing point of view (POV) between two or more parties. These POVs are usually strong, and the person who holds a specific POV has more likely than not, formed it based on person experience and knowledge with regard to the topic of dispute. It doesn’t matter how much you attempt to get the other person to change their mind, their POV will win out every time. Throughout the argument they may agree with certain aspects of your POV, but you’ll never get them to entirely agree with you. Thus, the argument has no winner.

If you’re argument is with someone of the opposite sex, you’re changes of winning are even less. Let’s face it, men and women will never see eye-to-eye; no matter what the subject matter is. A man can never truly understand what it’s like to be a woman, and a woman can never truly understand what it’s like to be a man. As such, they can never really empathize with each other when it comes right down to it.

Winning is actually a relative thing. Think of it like this. Two sides argue over something. The argument ends and the two sides disperse. Just because one side may have made stronger more valid points that the other side couldn’t counter, doesn’t mean they won. You may feel like you’ve won, but in the end, it’s a matter of opinion. Take for instance, the 911 attack at the Twin Towers, in New York. Although, considerable more than a simple argument, the example here is fitting.

Some 5 years later, both sides are still in a disagreement over who won. Although many lives were lost, you would be hard pressed to find any American who would declare that their country were the losers in that conflict. They’ll tell you that in spite of what happened, they persevered, and it was a failed attempt by Osama to weaken this country. On the other hand, you can bet your last dollar there are many in the Osama camp who did a victory dance after the attack, proclaiming that they had won.

The truth is no one won that argument. Both sides walked away feeling victorious for one reason or another. This opinion will differ from person to person. You’ll never get everyone to agree on a winner or a loser. The same can be said for arguments of any type. Arguments do not have winners or losers. They start out with differing sides and end up with differing sides. There’s no way to get around it.

Trudi Buck blogs about the many ways to search for a Masters in Counseling online.